Nie zawsze nauka musi być nudna. :-)
Dowcipy:
1.Dwóch Anglików w średnim wieku gra w golfa. w pewnej chwili obok pola golfowego przechodzi kondukt żałobny. Jeden z grających odkłada kij i zdejmuje czapkę.
- Cóż to - dziwi się drugi - przerywa pan grę?
- Proszę mi wybaczyć, ale, bądź co bądź, byliśmy 25 lat małżeństwem.
2.Jasiu, jak powiesz po angielsku: księżniczka?- Princessa - odpowiada Jasiu.A książę?- Prince polo.
3.Q: Who designed Noah's ark?
A: An ark-itect !
4.Q: Who succeeded the first President of the USA ?
A: The second one !
5.Przyjeżdża Stasiek z Anglii, a Ojciec do niego mówi:
- Stasiek! Wywieź gnój
- What
- What krowy, what konia
6.Przychodzi Irlandczyk do hotelu w którym pracuje Polka:
- two teas to room two two- mówi
- tam ta ram tam tam - odpowiada Polka
7.Two balloons are floating across the desert.
One balloon says to the other:
"Look out for the cactussssssssssss!"
8.A little boy returned home from school and told his father that he
had failed the maths test.
His father asked him, "Why did you fail?"
The boy replied, "The teacher asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?' and I said
'3 x 2 is 6'."
"Well, that's right" said his father.
The little boy continued, "Then she asked me 'How much is 2 x 3?"
"What the hell is the difference?" asked the father.
The son replied, "That's exactly what I said to my teacher and that's
why I failed the maths test.
9.Why is two times ten the same as two times eleven?
Because two times ten is twenty, and two times eleven is twenty, too!
10.It was the first day of Biology for a group of teenagers. The
professor had arranged a short demonstration for the class.
He took a worm and dropped it into a glass of water. The worm
wriggled about in the water.
Then he took a second worm and dropped it into a glass of alcohol.
The worm immediately died.
The professor asked the students if anyone knew what the point of
the demonstration was.
A boy raised his hand and said, "You're showing us that if we drink
alcohol, we won't have worms."
11. Teacher: Johnny. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Little Johnny: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Little Johnny: Seven!
Teacher: (Sigh) Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Little Johnny: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Little Johnny: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Little Johnny: I've already got a rabbit!
12.Little Jenny was doing her homework, when she stood up and went to her mum and asked, "Mum is it true that the stork brought me?"
Her mum answered with a smile, "Yes, of course it is."
Jenny looked at her and asked, "Did he bring you too?"
Her mum answered, "Yes, of course he did."
"What about Gran?" asked Jenny.
"Yes, he brought your grandmother too," answered her mum.
So, little Jenny went back to do her homework. Her first sentence read, "In our family there hasn't been a normal birth for at least three generations."
13.
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TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil :Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ?
Pupil : Twins ! |
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TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !
14.Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!
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